Our little man is here!

Ok I have been incredibly slack in updating but there is a wonderful reason and I will get to all the gores eventually :)

After waiting what seems like an eternity at 3.36am on Thursday 19th July little Hamish Donavan Raftery entered the world. We really cannot put into words how we feel because I don’t think there are any that truly mirror them.

Just after birth..wow!

Mummy and Daddy

Meeting his Tummy Mummy face to face. What an amazing job you did V! :)

Hamish is perfect and here with us and sleeping in the same room. That is something beyond words.

Wonderful day

Happy is not a word I would use... we are extatic! Bruiser is perfect in everyway. The 19 weeks scan gave us continued hope we will get to have this little one in our arms. We cannot wait!

2cms!!!

Our midwife appointment yesterday afternoon was exciting! We found out V is 2 cm's dilated!!! YAYYY.. things are happening :)


She also opted for the stretch and sweep where the midwife tries to get the membranes to detach from the cervix and start the process. At first V thought there might be a few niggles but a night of wishing didnt make it happen. Positive thinking will work!!!

It was so cute though, Toni the midwife touched bub's head and the heartrate went up! The little one got excited or annoyed that it's head was being poked. First human touch.. awwww. A big turning point.. this really is happening.. and soon!

Our bags are packed (have been for weeks) and we are ready.. READY, SET.. GO!!

38 + weeks

38 weeks... it feels like this is never going to happen.. and I am not the one with all the heavy baby :)

V is over it. Bruiser is getting bigger every day and is sitting very low which adds to the uncomfortable life she is living for us. Almost every time she goes out now someone says how "big or huge" she is and then they go into detail about how their last few weeks of pregnancy was so hard. It's their right as a mother to spill out stories of painful kicks, sore rob cages and breathless days. Cut the crap ladies. I know you dont generally get to whinge about those last few weeks of your pregnancies but seriously.. go find another pregnant lady to hassel!

Adrian and I have been pretty calm about everything and I was feeling really comfortable until last week when a girlfrield of mine had serious complications at birth and her little man Benjamin passed away. What happened to her was so reminiscent of what we went through with Sophie it was a little too close to the bone and it really affected me.

The problem is my anxiety was rubbing off on V which was terrible, so I have now taken a step back from my fears and I have realised this is different. There is no connection or correlation to my friend or what we went through with Sophie. She/He is safe and happy and will come out when He/She is ready. There is no way we can change our outcome we just have to ride the wave and believe this is our time.

So hurry up our time. V needs some sleep and we need a lack of sleep from staring at our beautiful little addition.

36 weeks!!

Slack, slack, slack with this posting business!! 36 weeks this week! Wow.... Bruiser is growing so beautifully and V is doing an amazing job, but well, is over it as you would expect :) Every day things are getting really hard for her so hopefully my being around is a good thing to help. Adrian was down for the long weekend and has just gone back :( My room at V's is full of stuff for Bruiser which I love having around. It makes me all warm and fuzzy! We have had a few midwife appts, all good and we have another one on Wednesday this week. After that there is one more appt then weekely visits. V is hoping we get to 37 weeks so we can be in the birthing area of the hospital rather than the delivery area. Looks like her wish will be granted :) I just hope we won't go over too far. We have a photo shoot this afternoon. V won a shoot in a competition with our story and it was going to be last Sat but Canberra was raining and dismal so it was postponed. Hopefully the sun will continue to try and stay out for us today! Last sat we also tried for a 4D scan. Tried is the word as there is not a whole lot of room in there anymore and we just couldn't get Bruiser to move her/his head to the scanner! We poked and prodded, V even jumped up and down but nope, bub was nooooot moving. We got some partial face shots bug that's about it. We really should have gone earlier!! Waiting, waiting, waiting. Bruiser will be here before we know it!

Update.. finally ...and we are 28 weeks!!

So much is happening at the moment and I have been slack keeping this up to date. The whole purpose for me is to keep a record of all that we went through so Bruiser can see how much s/he was wanted and how special they are. So I will try and fill in the blanks.

We have had the hospital visit to see where s/he will be born. The Birthing suite seems quite relaxed and fortunately for us there was no one in them at the time. I think I would have reacted a little worse than I did.

Toni ran through what would/could happen and then checked V over, asked the usual questions about pregnancy and we got to hear the heartbeat again. It really is the best sound ever when you thought you many never get the chance to hear it again.

Towards the end of the appointment I found myself getting really anxious, it was something that I wasn’t aware of, nor expected but it happened. I actually felt psychically sick and I guess there are so many reasons why that happened. It is real, we are having a baby and it’s completely wonderful. But nothing will take away losing Sophie and having fear this time with Bruiser. It’s just life. We will cope. V will be our amazing as she always has been through this process, and Adrian and I, well we will deal with it all no matter how anxious we feel.

I think deep down I doubt myself. Will I be a good mum? I am sure that is the question we all ask. Of course a few weeks later and doing the nursery I have no doubts I will be a great mum. But there are moments when I am alone, or thinking of how hard this journey has been that I will crack.. I think that is a normal reaction no matter history when having a baby but the question is for the most fleeting.

So Easter came and went. V had an assignment due se we offered to take the kids out for the day. We headed to BB and while it seemed to take forever it was worth it in the end. The kids loved it and so did Zippah! We found a dog friendly beach and we are pretty sure it was his first beach experience. After a big day out we were all pretty tired at the end of it… and V almost get her assignment done (with the help of some chocky eggs!).

I finish work tomorrow. Wow… that is a milestone for me. I didn’t get to finish work with Sophie. I went to work on the Thursday and woke up Friday in a world of pain to head to hospital.

Bruiser is growing so well! V is doing an amazing job and eating herself silly (she is carrying a Raftery after all ). I have tried a few times to feel s/his kicks and I finally did at Easter after days of avoiding my efforts. There is was a little bump.. small from the outside but I felt it! V tells me now that you can feel them a lot more now from the outside. That is so exciting!

We are madly preparing our house for Bruiser’s arrival. Nursery is being painted, and a few odds and ends done around the house. Our bedroom is sorted with the cradle and change table and I washed a lot of things new bibs, wraps etc that we had on the weekend. I hung them out early Sunday morning and I got Adrian out of bed to show him. Another milestone.. hanging washing out. It looked so cute. We smiled so much seeing the little tiny things on our clothes line. Wow…

I am heading to Singapore tomorrow to see A,A,D & D, something I have been tyring to do since February! I am excited about that as it’s been 16 months and the boys have grown soooo much! They move to Haige in November so they will be further away, but it’s also a great excuse to visit another part of the world. AD is really good at keeping in contact and sends photos and messages when the boys are doing something cute or funny and we try and Skype regularly as well. It makes them feel like they really aren’t too far away.

While I want to go away, I want to be here to to sort everything out at home. Leaving Adrian to it all for 10 days!

21 weeks!!

I know I have been completely slack with my updates and the baby is not even here to blame!! I did leave my laptop at V’s last week which gives me a weeks grace.. but what a week it was!!
 
So, what’s been happening…
 
We have had 2 midwife visits, 17 and 19 weeks and both times we got to hear Bruiser’s heartbeat!! It is simply the most wonderful thing hearing that thumping away :) Toni our Midwife was lovely and we both felt quite comfortable with her knowledge. Of course she was comfortable with our situation which is also important to us all. One of the questions she asked was whether I would like to ‘catch the baby’! Now that question came completely from left of field.. but how amazing that I may be able to do that! Adrian still feels like he can’t be in the room but I don’t want him to miss a thing with this little miracle. He has agreed that he doesn’t make a decision and just see how it all pans out on the day.
 
We are going through Canberra Hospital Birthing Suite all going well. I was relieved to know that if Little Bruiser comes early we would be headed straight into the hospital section but if it’s after 38 weeks we can use the birthing suite. V prefers this and our decision was really for her comfort as she’s doing all the hard work. We will be scared anyway given our past and it’s not like the Obstetrics professionals did the right thing by us with Sophie so I think different is better for us all.
 
Last Friday we had out 19 week scan and surprise surprise the date has been moved. We are now sitting at July 9!!!! YAYYYYYYY!!! All the stats were perfect but for the head measurement which was about a week ahead. I am so happy Bruiser is moving along in leaps and bounds but I may have to say sorry to V at a later date :)
 
We had V’s DS with us (5 yr old) who was rather excited to see the baby! Was funny explaining to him about black and white screens and pointing the different bits we could make out. I really don’t think he was convinced though. I mean a heart looks like this doesn’t it!?
 
V is also being kicked and punched! Bruiser seems to be giving it a real go.. the more the merrier I say. It makes us all at ease the truth be known!
 
And on more news we have finally told everyone!!! We called my mum and dad and Adrian’s mum after the scan. Adrian’s mum cried and laughed (At least I think that’s what it was) and my mum got so excited she had to call back to ask if it was ok to tell people… GO FOR IT MUM :):):)
 
So all is happy and on track. We have another appointment on the Thursday before Easter where we are visiting the hospital to see what we are in for!