Hopefully this one is it..

We just finished another cycle. Another period of time where I feel like I am an alien.

The drugs, the tests the scans and the collection. I feel eveytime it gets a little harder and although this one was a normal length and we got 8 eggs (which is a record by far for us) we only got 3 fertilised and 2 frozen. How did our odds get so bad? We have gone from 2 out of 3, 4 out of 4 to 1 out of 4 and now 2 our of 8! This roller coaster certainly messes with every fibre of me. But I know it is for a great cause and hopefully one day this will all be in the past and we will have an exciting life with one or two or three of them! It's nice to dream but that's all I can do.

Sydney IVF has changed things around this time too. We don't go upstairs anymore for the usual scans instead they have this new you beaut technology on thier premises and they are training up new staff. I was lucky I didn't need to be anywhere but the wait time was getting ridiculous on a few of the appointments. On one of the days last week I waited for 2 hours in a room full of hormonal annoyed women waiting their turn. I actually found it amusing to watch the pacing and questioning of many of them. It actually made my time pass faster.

I guess we all learn when you are doing anything medical time can get silly. I remember once waiting for a scan for 4 1/2 hours in Westmead. We were booked in for 10am and not seen until 2.30pm! It's not always easy to explain to your boss that you are stuck!!

So in total we have 9 frosties and I think I am done. It's hard to put a cap on it because we don't know if any of them will survive and with my body on the downhill slide... Time to get serious about the next steps for us and that is something I have not discussed on here.

We are lucky enough to have been offered by a wonderful lady to carry a child for us, but her circumstances have changed of late there is a lot of uncertainty in general. It's so hard waiting but I know we have time now we have embryos. It's just we were ready 2 years ago preparing for Sophie to be born... we are more than ready now.

Another cycle after a disappointing effort last time.

So the last cycle was 21 days and almost a new record for our Dr!

We got 4 eggs which fertilised... but only one was frozen. The highs and lows of this is insane. 1 out of 4 is not good enough.

The problem is this... only 30% of embryos will survive defrosting! I didn't realise this at all! 30% after all we have gone through and here we were thinking we were kicking goals, but the reality is that we may get 2 survive and then after that they have to cement themselves and grow and get to 12 weeks and not miscarry and we all know birth is not a given.

My Dr also told us that 'my body is behaving menopausal' which is not what we wanted to hear at all. So it means that we have to get as many as we can otherwise I may shut down and then nothing... no more eggs.. no more chances. I am only 36!!

So I am back on it again after a month off. We had a scan on Wednesday, a few follicles were there but it was only day 6. Another scan tomorrow and hopefully there will be improvement. Positive thoughts.. positive thoughts.. grow you good things!

I miss Sophie Cleo and I wish we were no where near as experienced in all this as we are.

Bad mother

So I have completely forgotten to write anything about this cycle so here goes.

Day 1 we start jabs again this time using 400units of Puragon. Day 7 ultrasound.. tiny little 5mm blobs on the screen. Day 10 another scan and bloods. One blob measuring 11mm the rest very small. Day 14 a few more blobs and a little growth, one at 14mm and a couple at 11mm. Day 18 another scan and bloods. 4 blobs at 14mm, the rest around 11mm. Going back on day 21 for more bloods and a scan.

So this cycle is stringing out but there is a problem. We leave for London on Saturday!!! Wed is the next scan and lets hope they are happy with it... else we have to do it again, and after 18 days so far on these drugs I don't really want to do that!!

Patience and happy thoughts needed yet again.

Saturday.. another wait

I spent the day with Kylie and Amanda selling raffle tickets for Bears of Hope so it was a pretty emotional day. I can safely say I am completely shite at trying to force people to buy something! I failed dismally but we got some more awareness raised which is better than any dollar amount.

By 3.15pm we had still not heard anything from IVF.. it is so nerve racking waiting.. waiting! Kylie suggested I call them so I did. They were in the middle of freezing the day's eggs and freezing 3 of ours. No 4 is still trying to grow to that stage so we had to wait overnight.

Monday I left my mobile at home.. grrrr... but I was not expecting another call to be honest. When I got home there was a message telling us that all 4 had made the blacocyst stage and had been frozen!! 100% success this round... WOWWWWW... we now have 6 frosties. That in itself is 6 chances of having a real, live, screaming, gorgeous baby.. a brother or sister for Sophie Cleo. The road is a long one but we have started the hard journey... we are on our way honey!

4 Fertilised!

I am sick as today. Adrian made me stay home from work which I was glad of. Just slept and tried to get this bug out of my system.

Around 11.30am I was woken up by the phone. Kent St nurse Heather was on the other end and had good news for us! All 4 fertilised overnight!!! YAYYYYY. First hurdle after collection done with.

The waiting game continues. Thursday we get the update, then Sat the decision to freeze if they survive and become blastocysts. Grow you good things GROWWWWW!

Collection

The collection went well. We got 4 healthy eggs this time which is a step up from last month!

Hopefully overnight they all partied and we have some fertilised eggies. Waiting for that phone call this morning and the waiting game to continue.

I didn't come out of it too well this time, almost threw up and passed out at the same time. Felt a lot more pain too... perhaps it was because I knew what was coming. As I said.. it's not a pleasant experience but so worth it. I have a fluey thing too which I am sure didn't help.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx fingers!

Collection No.2

Sat morning we headed in for a 7am scan and blood test. There are 4 follicles at 14mm and one at 18mm. I expected them to call and say it is cancelled but at 12.30pm Heather called to say we can trigger at 1am! YAY!! The 5 are looking good.

I am nervous about this one. We were successful last time and this time there is pressure of a different kind. I want more then last time! The trouble is there might be 5 follicles but only 3 eggs like last time.. and then we might lost one again. I want 5 from 5!! I don’t want to have to go through all this another 3-4 times to get what we need but I know I will if I have to.

I also know what I am in for. Let’s face it.. it’s not pleasant! You are given massive needles which you can feel, you feel every movement and it’s not fun at all. The only thing I look forward to is the “champagne” they give you to relax you and the cup of tea the other side. Watching it is an experience I will say that. Seeing the first egg is so exciting and a moment we will remember for a long time.

Adrian keeps reminding me something our Dr said, one egg, one baby. That’s true but this is a numbers game and we need to make sure we don’t lose all our playing cards in the first round.

Bring on 1pm.