Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Hopefully this one is it..

We just finished another cycle. Another period of time where I feel like I am an alien.

The drugs, the tests the scans and the collection. I feel eveytime it gets a little harder and although this one was a normal length and we got 8 eggs (which is a record by far for us) we only got 3 fertilised and 2 frozen. How did our odds get so bad? We have gone from 2 out of 3, 4 out of 4 to 1 out of 4 and now 2 our of 8! This roller coaster certainly messes with every fibre of me. But I know it is for a great cause and hopefully one day this will all be in the past and we will have an exciting life with one or two or three of them! It's nice to dream but that's all I can do.

Sydney IVF has changed things around this time too. We don't go upstairs anymore for the usual scans instead they have this new you beaut technology on thier premises and they are training up new staff. I was lucky I didn't need to be anywhere but the wait time was getting ridiculous on a few of the appointments. On one of the days last week I waited for 2 hours in a room full of hormonal annoyed women waiting their turn. I actually found it amusing to watch the pacing and questioning of many of them. It actually made my time pass faster.

I guess we all learn when you are doing anything medical time can get silly. I remember once waiting for a scan for 4 1/2 hours in Westmead. We were booked in for 10am and not seen until 2.30pm! It's not always easy to explain to your boss that you are stuck!!

So in total we have 9 frosties and I think I am done. It's hard to put a cap on it because we don't know if any of them will survive and with my body on the downhill slide... Time to get serious about the next steps for us and that is something I have not discussed on here.

We are lucky enough to have been offered by a wonderful lady to carry a child for us, but her circumstances have changed of late there is a lot of uncertainty in general. It's so hard waiting but I know we have time now we have embryos. It's just we were ready 2 years ago preparing for Sophie to be born... we are more than ready now.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Another cycle after a disappointing effort last time.

So the last cycle was 21 days and almost a new record for our Dr!

We got 4 eggs which fertilised... but only one was frozen. The highs and lows of this is insane. 1 out of 4 is not good enough.

The problem is this... only 30% of embryos will survive defrosting! I didn't realise this at all! 30% after all we have gone through and here we were thinking we were kicking goals, but the reality is that we may get 2 survive and then after that they have to cement themselves and grow and get to 12 weeks and not miscarry and we all know birth is not a given.

My Dr also told us that 'my body is behaving menopausal' which is not what we wanted to hear at all. So it means that we have to get as many as we can otherwise I may shut down and then nothing... no more eggs.. no more chances. I am only 36!!

So I am back on it again after a month off. We had a scan on Wednesday, a few follicles were there but it was only day 6. Another scan tomorrow and hopefully there will be improvement. Positive thoughts.. positive thoughts.. grow you good things!

I miss Sophie Cleo and I wish we were no where near as experienced in all this as we are.