Sunday, November 27, 2011

7 week scan

Seriously do we care about what bits are where on the ultrasound?? The sonographer pushed us to the limit and gave us NOTHING for what seemed like an eternity. Then she turned the screen and showed V where all her internals are and what ovary she ovulated from... ahhhemmmmm... WT?? HURRY THE HELL UP! We know it's all healthy.. that's how we all got here!

The news was great :) Bruiser is pushing out a heart beat at 132bpm and it looked wonderful.. not that you can really tell at that point, but finally there was a smile from her and it was all good. PHEW... the tension really sucked! There was the beautiful heartbeat, pump, pump, pump... then the scan was over! They didn't spend half as much time on it as they did with LT... I guess because Bruiser is healthier :)

I cried... V cried.. and I cried a whole lot more... How can you not when you see the very real possibility right in front of you.

So we got the pics and an official letter from CFC saying we have a viable pregnancy... which is AWESOME :)))))))

Bloods in the afternoon came back at 63,357... but after seeing the healthy measurements and heartbeat the hCG which was soooo important in the beginning seemed irrelevant. Still that is what we will be holding onto over the coming weeks to make sure LB is going ok.

Lets just hope V doesn't get too much of the dizziness she has been experiencing over the coming weeks. While it's not great for her, it seems it's a good thing with blood flow to Bruiser. Hopefully there is common ground and it's good for both without too much issue.

We just need to hold our breath until after Christmas for the next scan.

Grow Little Bruiser... we are all sending you the best vibes possible! xo

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Not counting really..

Tomorrow is the scan. 10am is the time. I cannot wait to see Bruiser growing strong.

V was sick last night. She was dizzy, faint, nauseous and exhausted. I didn't experience anything like that with my pregnancies but every one is different. After an orange and a rest it went away but it took a few hours. Of course we googled, and we found these symptoms were very common and linked to low blood pressure in the first trimester. Let's hope it was a one off!

The documentary we are participating in popped its head up again yesterday and again there was a mad panick which fizzled. They will hopefully film the big scan at 12 weeks but that will not be at CFC. So I guess we have to go through the whole getting access for the film crew etc. I am sure it will work out in the end.

Am off to visit a few puppies we cuddled and fostered tonight. Very exciting to see their homes and cuddle them some more!

Our focus is on Bruiser right now though.. See you tomorrow little friend :)

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Today I have a spring in my step. Some days life can be like that but the last few years those days have been few and far between. I feel good finally.. my flu has gone..I am sleeping again and there is a very real possibility that we will have a baby in July next year!!!! I keep telling myself not to get too excited but it's like something in universe is telling me this is the one!

I can’t believe we are here… (and yes we have been here before) but the scan is next week and Bruiser is growing so well. hCG on Tuesday 25dpo was 11,547.. that is good.. that is great! Bruiser is above the norm and keeping its head above water. Of course the scan will be nerve-wracking but this time we have zero doubts as there have been no concerns. It is so nice not to be Goggling constantly to try and make sense of the unknown.. this time it's been all great simple Goggling for levels.

I am heading to Canberra to visit V and the Kids next week and am looking forward to seeing them. D is overseas at the moment so I can at least help her with rest and try and keep the kids occupied as much as possible.

On another happy not the puppy we have in foster at the moment was behaving badly and we thought he might not be re-home able, but with some great training techniques given to me by 'The Dog Listener' we have made real progress and he’s now up on the web to find a family!! YAYYYY! It has been hard and tedious but it’s working! I am also off to see The Dog Whisperer tonight. I think I got the last ticket in Sydney and I decided at the last minute after working out the week ahead... very excited about that and I hope I learn a few things in his show!

Monday, November 14, 2011

The waiting game..

With IVF you know so early and you follow every step which is excruciating. The next few months can't go fast enough!

Adrian and I have made the decision not to tell anyone about what is going on at the moment. It's really hard.. We want to yell it from the rafters but we have to wait this time.

This weekend was a test. We had my parents down and it was so hard not to tell them!! We were asked and the standard at the moment is we are waiting for the next cycle and are being monitored. It's not a complete fib.. We are being 'monitored' but for post not pre. But this time we will wait. Adrian's mum asks constantly which is hard but her wait will be worth it in the end :)

At least we were kept busy!

Tomorrow is another big day. Next blood work and hopefully a booking for a scan. We should have high enough hCG!! It has to be over 1000 and going on current levels...well lets not get too carried away :)

I have an app on my phone and with V's cycle dates it shows us hitting 6 weeks on Thursday. I think we are a little behind though as Bruiser took a little time to implant. Kylie... Wait!!!!! Patience is seriously required now...

Thursday, November 10, 2011

DPO 18

788, 788, 788 and looking fabulous!! Go Bruiser Go :)

Last time with LT the results at 18dpo were only 287 and that was when we knew something may not be right.

The results at this stage are really promising. We are at the high side of normal and fighting fit.

Wonderful wonderful news!

Monday, November 7, 2011

Wasting time

It's a strange time this waiting time. Waiting to see if things work.. if the embie grows and grows in the right way for survival. This waiting is not normal in any way..It tests patience. It tests more than most people can imagine.

Bring on tomorrow for more fantastic news!! :)

Saturday, November 5, 2011


All looking good! Today's test had an hCG 160, progesterone 161. Yay, double yay, tripple yay!!!!

We are in the normal range for growth. Keep on growing little one :)

I am finally starting to feel normal again although there is still congestion and I still can't hear in my left ear I am finally on the mend. Adrian went to the Gold Coast yesterday for International Rules and is back this afternoon. I am cleaning again :( At least the weather is lovely here!!

Thursday, November 3, 2011

The Best news..

Monday V went in for a blood test which, 10dpo and at that stage there can be some hormone registered. Monday it was 10.1. Surely that is a step in the right direction? Last month it was a 0.. so surely this has to be ok?

Tuesday we got a text message from V... It was POSITIVE!!!!! She could not wait and did a home test which shows when hCG gets to 25... and it appeared! :) That has to be a YES!

Positive! :)
Wednesday 12pdo was the second blood test... hCG 63!! Woooo HOOOOOOO!!! The little 'Bruiser' as V so politely put it has sunk itself into her living and is growing!! YAY YAY YAY!!!

Location photo of where I was when I heard the news... YAY!!
The best news!

Tomorrow 14dpo is another test to confirm the rise.. of course it will be going strong cause this little embie is concentrating hard on growing big and strong...Go Brusier Go... I can feel it :)

Friday, October 28, 2011

Third Time..

Third time lucky.. there I said it. I didn't want to jinx it but it is going to be the third time lucky!

After yesterdays freak out session Adrian called the clinic to be told that 3 survived and 2 had been frozen again! After all that we only lost the one. I am still confused as to why it all happened but in any case we managed to get a happy little embie for the transfer.

Unfortunately or fortunately for V I am sick and stuck in Sydney so she had to go it alone for the transfer today. After doing it a few times she was comfortable with it and she had very few nerves this time. It's such a quick session for such an amazing outcome when you think about it.

V called me after around 2.20pm to tell me everything went smoothly and that the little embryo was hatching already. That is a good sign as cracking that shell seems to be a hard task and it was doing it in a dish so it's surely got to love the new cosy environment it is now in!

Sticky thoughts little embie...find that perfect place and latch on. We are all waiting for you out here in the big world to join us!

Hard to stay positive

So this clinic just called me about the defrosting. There is a form we have to sign each cycle that tells them how many embryos you would like them to thaw to get a healthy and happy embie. I remember putting in this one 4 thinking well if we get down to it surely that's just back up and there they will still be able find survivors. WELL the call set me back.They have thawed all 4 as the first few were not looking great after the defrost!

The comment was they probably won't survive, well at least one will hopefully... How do we go from 7 to 3 in one day??? That took me months of hard IVF to get that little lot and they are gone? How flat, beaten and completely un womanly do I feel now. This baby making thing is supposed to be natural and easy but for some of us it's HARD and UNFAIR.

I try and keep my feelings of  worthlessness under wraps but it's days like these that they come steamrolling over me again. The hospital system took our daughter from us and my possibility of ever carrying a child. They knew the risks and they 'waited'. That wait cost us more than anyone could ever know.

Then rules and red tape of Surrogacy in NSW made us go through IVF to freeze for 'quarantine' and now we are 2 years on.

It's truly hard to focus on the positive when all that seems to be thrown to us is the complete opposite. It's hard to see we have 4 embryos left.. one surviving the freeze (hopefully) for the transfer tomorrow...but the reality is none of them may survive.

I keep thinking about the IVF Dr who kept telling us 'one embryo, one baby'. It makes complete sense unless you step into our shoes and then nothing makes sense and statistics mean nothing. 30% this, 30% that.. I am sick of hearing about odds. We got them from every angle with Sophie and now again we hear them. It's almost a way of Dr's justifying themselves and their profession.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Negative :(

We had a negative with the transfer but I forgot to post as usual! It sucks but there are worse things, much worse. While it is hard to be on this roller coaster when we are on it, strapped in there is always a chance.

At least this time around the negative meant if V was OK things should run fairly smoothly for another transfer and fortunately she is and we are doing another one tomorrow!

Sunday, October 2, 2011

The wait game...

Well we got through it!

The Dr was late which made things seem worse. Thank goodness to V's new smartphone to keep her occupied.. and me.. well I just sat and sat and sat. When I am really nervous I can't speak so you can imagine how quiet this waiting room was. Still it's not the place for much conversation because everyone is so nervous!

The procedure went fast again although this time there was no pain for V which is nice! Last time there was a grabber and that was not so nice :( The tube was checked to make sure it had actually been 'placed' and we were off again! It seriously is such a small quick process for something so HUGE.

So we wait again! This bit ISSSSSSS painful and there is nothing you can do. It's up to the embie and the environment to get comfortable, nothing more. No drugs, no science, no prayers, it's nature and the human race will never truly understand why it works or it doesn't.

V has a blood test tomorrow to see if there are any hormones.. cross everything for us!!

Thursday, September 29, 2011


So nervous this time around. I feel completely sick. And I know it's not the enormous cheesecake I just had!!

V and I are trying to pass the time but it's taking sooooo long 

Round two...

Today is transfer day and implant day... (thinking positively!!) It seems like an eternity to get here but we made it. The roller coaster continued but we are here again!

Sticky thoughts.. Positive thoughts.

1.30pm here we come!!

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Goodbye little one...

I have not wanted to write this last week because to be honest it has been completely shite. The worst was confirmed at the ultrasound. Baby Raftery had not grown past 6.3 days and there was no heartbeat. There it was in black and white, the same picture we saw the week before but no movement. I wanted to yell out and question the sonographer but what good would that do? Are you sure.. maybe you're not doing it right? You make mistakes too...just move the probe back a little.. I am sure I saw something! I wish I saw something..I am sure I saw something flicker...

We were supposed to be over 8 weeks and looking forward to the 12 week scan but were saying goodbye.

I waited for the call from V all week which was excruciating. You know it is going to happen but it's still longest wait.. at least it was only a week. She starter spotting on Thursday which meant no need for the D&C which was booked on Friday... but nothing really started until Friday night, and it really started.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing. People can tell you what will happen but your natural instinct is to blow it off. V freaked out. I knew what could happen but I freaked out and jumped in the car for Canberra. I had had a busy week.. I was tired but this was way too important to not go. I needed to be there.. this was our baby.. our flesh and blood and I needed to be there.

The hours were slow and I was off the planet...the drive seemed like an eternity.

By the time I arrived V had a clam about her I had not seen before. She had never been here before either and didn't really know what to expect. The bleeding had escalated to almost and emergency visit, then just as it began subsided and all was ok.

I was able to help in a small way by taking to kids out the next day and letting V sleep, have drugs and relax. I can't help her go through this but I can be there if that makes sense. But it is hard...

The Dr said there is no reason, these things 'just happen' and again we were given the typical 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage. I for one am completely sick of hearing that statistic. They think if they give you this information everything will be ok.. but it's not and it changes nothing.

Thanks for the therapy but we already know this. We have lived and breathed it all before and this path has attempted to comfort us too many times. It seems to me a way the medical field tries to calm you down when the worst happens.

When we lost Sophie they gave us the '6 babies are stillborn every day in Australia'. Seriously, is that supposed to help? Should that calm you down when you are holding a baby in your arms who's eyes you will never see? Well fortunately (or unfortunately) it did initially. We were grasping at anything to help the pain, to try and understand what happened. But it should never have happened.. never ever.

So for me at least stats no longer hold up (I can't speak for my Husband who is still ever hopeful in everything in life). Statistics are all bullshit and averages never apply to me. I was 1 in 150,000 to rupture.  I survived when my husband was told I had a 50:50 chance to live the catastrophe. I have about a 98% chance I will rupture if I ever tried to carry again.

You know what pisses me off even more? No mater what we have endured we STILL have a 1 in 4 chance of miscarriage! I have to hope that the universe is good to us.. good to us all next time.. if we get a next time. I can't say I believe in God after all that has happened.. I didn't after losing Sophie if I am completely honest.

This is tiring and emotional and NOT FAIR. Just give us a chance universe.. one chance.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Tomorrow will tell us...

I am heading to Canberra today for the scan tomorrow and also to spend time with V and her kids. They were up here last weekend but the kids were sick and out of sorts. Unfortunately Adrian and I now have some lurgy possibly left over from runny noses but you get that! I am glad her kiddies are feeling much better.

While I know there is little chance of a good result tomorrow I still live in hope... crazy I know but I know it has to be our turn for goods news soon!

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

What can you say?

Right now I feel like I have been run over by a truck.  hCG was 25,000 and Progesterone was 24 which means that we are on the downhill slide as predicted and the 'LT' as V has been calling it is leaving us. WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?

The Dr still tells us there is hope but after 5 days of ups and downs and then seeing the blood results there is no hope. Things don't turn around at this point and I would rather honesty than feed us hope. We have a scan on Friday to determine how everything is going and while my heart so wants this to all be better and kick the odds my head is preparing me the other option.

When you sit through all the counselling you talk about this as a possibility but it's never a reality. They don't talk about how hard it is hard watching someone else lose your child... no matter how small it is. I cannot do anything.. I cannot change this outcome.. we can do nothing...and I hate that! I won't bleed and I don't feel pregnant and I have to watch this whole process unfold. I guess I can liken it to what Adrian went through watching me with our losses... but there really is no comparison.

I am trying to reason with myself, there must be a problem and it's for the best... well FUCK THE BEST. For a reason WHAT reason??? Why do drug additced, abusive assholes get to have kids when we go through this? It's just not fair!

When do we get cut come slack, all of husband, V, her family! They are doing something so amazing, so unbelievably wonderful and it gets taken away in the blink of an eye. I can handle not being a mum here on earth but I cannot handle my wonderful husband being denied that.

I say again one word... WHY?

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Big day...

I would be lying if I said I wad not completely and utterly nervous about today's results. My stomach is churning and my palms.. Well just thinking about the phone call... I feel sick!

I spent ages again on Google last night finding so many positive stories similar to ours with healthy babies at the end. I hope with everything that is us!

Please little one find enough strength in you to keep going. We understand it might be too hard for you but just one last try... please!!

Monday, May 23, 2011

The last few days is a blur...

Being completely honest things have turned to shit! I am in a perpetual state of nothingness and the cloud is back, for good this time at least I think anyway.

I caught a train from Strathfield to Canberra on Wednesday night for the Thursday morning scan. I was so tired from a long day and when I finally got to V's she told me the clinic had moved our time to an earlier slot. Great.. lets get it done, enjoy the rest of the day and make sure V does some study for her exam on the weekend!

We went into the scanning room with so much hope. I watched all the measurements just like an expectant father, as the sonogropher tapped away. I watched intently because I kept telling myself if I saw a heartbeat everything would be fine...and after a few minutes I saw it.. the little flicker I saw with Sophie.. so small, so fast, beating away and I relaxed completely. All would be fine I told myself.

The sonographer asked how far we were and it we should be just over 7 weeks... the baby was measuring 6.2 weeks which was a week behind. The more worrying part was it's beautiful little heartbeat. Although it looked like it was beating so fast it is way below what it should be at 94bpm. At this stage it should be 120 at least and that together with the slow growth seems to mean we are waiting for the worst (Sophie's was 128bpm her 6 week scan).

Why does an embryo get this far, get a heartbeat and then go no further! It would have been easier to see an empty sac!

After many tears and hours of Google reading story after story we felt a little better in the knowledge that it 'may' be ok. The little embie might be on the way 'up' and not on the way down. There are so many happy endings with similar starts.. maybe that will be our ending, a happy one!

We have played Tag with the Dr for a few days and neither of us have spoken to her directly. She managed to get hold of Adrian on Friday and the conversation was more about expecting the worst with the scan results. BUT she had seen cases that turned around and were perfectly normal.

hCG was 21,000 which was great.. it was doing as it should but how is it a week behind?? Tuesday (which is now tomorrow) there are bloods to see any progress and by then if things are ok they will be around 40,000. Depending on that outcome we will be having another scan either later this week or earlier next week.

The only thing I know is this roller coaster is at full speed in such a short time. Is that our answer? We have been behind 'average' most of the way and now it's official we are behind in size and heartbeat. Were we ignoring the obvious all this time? We are all trying to be positive but it's so hard. Positivity means nothing.. it cannot change nor alter this outcome... nature will do as it has always done.

All we can do is hope we are in the up side of these results and moving forward. Tomorrow will be the biggest day so far with all we now know and we will be crossing everything.. by 2pm we will have some sort of answer to this numb limo we are in.. at least that is the only way I can describe it.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Up, up and AWAYYYYY!!!

Well it seems our little friend has settled in quite well and we have now made it over the 6 week mark!!! Wooooo Hoooooo!! To be honest it feels like an eternity has passed with all the worrying we have done. The hormone levels, the Google insults (our own fault of course) and the way too much knowledge we have from life in the baby loss world. Of course we have been secretly screaming inside...this is what we had dreamt of, longed for and it's finally happening! But we have certainly been holding our breath these last few weeks.

It's really hard to explain unless you have lost, but it's almost impossible to get emotional to fast because things can go wrong. It's a defence mechanism I wish I didn't have or need. We knew very early we were pregnant with Sophie and although we thought we were in the clear it went completely wrong. We also know things are very different this time, V has the perfect bits (unlike me) and there is absolutely no reason why this should not work. But it's still so very hard after heartache.

But as the days tick on we are slowly being released from the grip of uncertainty. I can actually feel a cloud lifting, cliché as that might sound it's real. I am beginning to allow myself to make this real and enjoy the moment.

We have a scan next week (on the 18th) which is really exciting. After just hearing about blood results we will see a real thing on a screen... wow... wow.

Keep happy little one.. you are amazing us already! We can't wait to see you next week.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Bloods again and a fantastic result!!

We spent today with things going on all around us. A handyman came to do some things we were just crap with, and we had a quote for Solar. But when the handyman left we noticed a noise in the Laundry which sounded like sizzling or munching! At first I thought it was mice in the wall but then I noticed water dripping down towards the power point! We quickly called the handyman who high tailed it back and cut a hole in the wall and see 2 holes drilled into the water pipe! So emergency plumber could not come and now we have no water for the next 18 hours :( Cooking dinner tonight was not the most ideal without WATER!

Anyway in the midst of all this V called for her results. I am sure she will be sick of that place by the time we are handed over to the next phase! Her hCG was 2450 today which is FANTASTIC!! YAYYYY and double YAYYYYYYY. Things are moving along well.. just keep growing little munchkin :)

Another test on Tuesday then who knows! When do we get to the good stuff? Bring on week 7!

We are going to see V, her DH, DS and DD next week. We are giving them a night free pass on one of the nights. We have to be able to do something at the moment!!

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Tuesday has finally come around.

So it got the better of V yesterday and she went out and got this high tech fan dangled version of the 'pee on a stick' tests. This one reads hormone levels and actually tells you how far you are which is pretty impressive. The result was below and showed her at being around more than 5 weeks which is what she should be if all is well. It has given us both a little relief in this madness, but this afternoon's results will be the reality we have been waiting for. Sooooo nervous this day is taking forever!

Time lapse of a few hours...

Just got off the phone from V and all is looking good! What were we worried about!? hCG is at 1295 which brings it back into the 'normal' area. Keeping with the graph again this one shows we are still behind but as usual this is an average and we are all different! Bloods again on Thurs again to see the levels :))))))
PS.. this should have been posted yesterday but I forgot to publish :( Better late than never!!

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Labrodor Rescue

We have a bit of a farm at our place and enjoy having animals arounds us. In an effort to add a little bit of Karma into our house this year we signed up to foster Labbies until they find their forever home. So far we have helped out 4 dogs (one puppy we kept) and on Thurs night we got our 5th! Nala a 7 month old female who's family just didn't have time for her :( She's lovely but full of life! She's enjoying playing with our Bella that's for sure!

We also added to the bunnies space...they don't know what to do with themselves now!

Certainly helping me to pass the time... Tuesday seems so far away even now!

Friday, April 29, 2011

Updated blog theme

I was meaning to come up with a header for this blog so today I found the time. I think it looks much more appropriate!

Day 18 test

The day passed fairly quickly. My Mum and Dad who had been staying with us for a week went home around 2, so I was left with an empty house but a warm one. Our gas heater needed to be certified by a plumber and he came out in the morning and now we are so toasty. Autumn is surely here now and Winter is knocking on the door slowly.

Having time on my hands I was looking around the web (as you do) at pregnancy levels and wondering what today's results would bring. I was also reading up on breast feeding and how I can do it (maybe) by tricking my body and inducing it. It involves a lot of drugs and herbs and breast pumps etc...I am getting way ahead of myself!

V called around 2.30pm to say that her hCG was 287 and progesterone was 117. Now the news was good, the levels are rising...but when you look at the 'averages' on the web then our little munchkin has slowed down a bit in the 5 days. Should we be worried? Could this be the first sign of something wrong?
After some further research it seems that IVF implants generally register lower hCG levels in early pregnancy as it takes longer for the body to register the pregnancy. In fact a 3 day implant has much higher levels than a 5 day essentially we are a 5 day old implant and if that is true then why were our levels off the scale in the first few tests and not now? Could it have just settled down a little??

Both V and I separately in our searches came to similar conclusions and are concerned. How could we not be when armed with this information but do we need to be or is Google the true enemy here?!!

The concern we have at the moment is the rate it is rising. Averages say it doubles in 48-72 hours and we are now above that average. I found this quote today which helps me a little:

"If normal hCG levels double every 2-3 days, what does it mean if hCG levels are slow to rise?

You have to keep in mind that hCG levels are just estimates and each pregnancy is different. The actual numbers are not indicators of the probability of pregnancy complications but rather, the direction the numbers are going."

The clinic didn't seem too worried about it. V still has her Tuesday bloods so surely if there was a problem they would have suggested a test earlier??

I must say that I am trying to control my emotions. As excited as we were to find out we were pregnant there was always a big hesitation.. nothing is certain and we have been through the enough to know sometimes things don't work the way you want.. in fact for us that has been more than most.

I am all over the place. Please little embie.. be happy and healthy and stay with us.

It seems we hold our breath for the next 4 more days not 8 weeks!

Today's graph...

Sunday, April 24, 2011

The call we had been waiting for...Happy Easter!

The Wednesday tests were very positive. V's Progesterone was at 90 odd and her hCG was 30.5 which technically means PREGNANT!! The test on Sat is to confirm if the levels are rising along with a growing and happy pregnant.


Sat morning V, D, and their two beautiful children dropped in on us on their way to MIL's for Easter. The results for the bloods were available at 12pm today as it's a long weekend so we called at 12 and of course the phone was engaged (as always at this time of the day)! Finally the receptionist picked up BUT she can't give results and the nurse was unavailable, so we left a message for the nurse to call on my mobile.

Killing time outside blowing bubbles with the kids we missed the call back, so I called again. Jenny the nurse was finally available and the news was wonderful. It is confirmed we a healthy embie growing very well indeed in V's amazing oven!!! V's Progesterone was at 170 odd (she is still taking supplements), but the big thing was her hCG was at 117!!! Generally it doubles ever 48-72 hours but this little munchkin is barrelling through. We expected it may be at 90 with this test!

Getting the news with all of us together was so important now that I look at it. V and I tried to hold back the tears but HOW EXCITING!!! We are pregnant!!! After all the tests, drugs, bloods, scans, interviews, paperwork and waiting rooms it has all been worth it.

For now we hold our breath for the next 8 weeks :)

Baby due 1.1.2012...

This is somthing I found on the web.. a calculator or sorts with averages etc showing where we are.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

What day are we on?

I think we are on day 11 after ovulation but the embie was 5 days when thawed and implanted on day 6 but V's day 7... so does that make us day 12? Ahhhhhh!!!!

I got a cute message from V this morning asking me if I wanted her to do my head in. I am already doing my own head in so of course I want to know what's gong on in her mind.. and her body!

She said this morning she fet sick, as in 'breath through the feeling' kind of sickness! So many things run through your head. Could it be the progesterone she had last night? Could it still be the Overdril in her system? (surely not by now!). Is it just Psychosomatic because we want this so much? Doing our heads in is right!!

After telling me about the sickness V then told me because it was doing her head in she did a pregnancy test...and then a second one... both were positive!?? Is that left over HCG from Overdril????? Or are we actually positive??

V said tomorrow morning she will do another test just to see if it is real and then have the bloods done at the clinic. 2pm we find out the results.. although on transfer day we were told she still may get a false positive on Wednesday? Surely the hCG would be out of her system by now!?

I can't let myself think ahead just yet so Dr Google has been counting out most of what I was thinking... but it's still all just speculation though isn't it. In any case we are so much further along than we were even a month ago and it's sooooooo exciting!

Keep happy little embie... GROW, GROW, GROWWWWWWWWWWW!

Monday, April 18, 2011

First bloods

I came home on Sat evening to give V and her husband some time. I must say I missed my tribe of animals and especially my gorgeous husband :) Home sweet home...

First blood test today. On Friday the Progesterone test came back at 71 after the additional pessary before the transfer. They didn't think V needed any additional Progesteron over the weekend and asked her to go in on Monday to check on the levels again. Today they were at 41 which is the low end of average so V is getting some help with drugs to support the embie. Really nothing to report at this stage...

Wednesday is the next bloods to see if the levels have changed at all and if so moved in the positive way we want...UP UP UP!!!

Fingers and everything crossed!

Friday, April 15, 2011

1st Transfer - 15 April

It's done... OMG!!

We were called in at 7.30am and given paperwork to check. Then in a short 5 mins our healthy little embie was implanted!! By 7.55am this morning we were back in the waiting room all done. Bloods were then taken and we have to call at 2 to see if V needs to take progesterone over the next week or not. It's all very surreal to he honest. Waiting so long for something so quick... Wow. V and I were left looking at each other as if 'is that it?'

On Wednesday V has a blood test and that may read positive because of the ovulation drugs. Then next Saturday another blood test will confirm if there are more hormones or none. We don't even have to have the 2WW! Btw we want HORMONES!!!

Find that perfect little spot little embie and Grow, grow, grow!

Thinking sticky thoughts right now!!!!

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Finally a date!!

So we finally got a date for the transfer!! V has been going to the clinic for bloods and ultrasounds and on Friday was given the Overdrel injection for ovulation. They mentioned it might be Friday next week, then there was silence...I hate silence! So yesterday afternoon I called the clinic to confirm the next steps.. we didn't want to wait anymore.. it's all set for Friday at 10am. Yayyyyy!!

Another phone call brought some more exciting news this afternoon. Dr D called to say the embryo they chose had survived the thaw and was all ready! Double, triple yay!! Funny I had not really thought about when it would be defrosted but I guess I thought it would be in the morning.

Of course nothing goes smoothly and in the final hour the transfer time was changed to 7.30am so we had to come up with plan B for the kids. Thank goodness for V's quick thinking. It was sorted before we knew it! 

I have been staying with V and her two beautiful children this week and it's been great spending quality time with them. I am of course still in awe she is doing this for us. OMG it's just hit me... It's tomorrow!!!!

I hope we get some slept tonight!

Monday, April 11, 2011

The call we were waiting for...

This is where I was standing when we got the news. Funny how things become etched in your mind.. This is one for me. Jenny from CFC said all was approved and the paperwork is being sent out as we speak!

WE GOT APPROVED!!!!!!! YAYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, March 18, 2011

I keep forgetting to update this blog and it's a shame because so much have happened since IVF!

Well firstly we have been getting to know our Surrogate and that has been a wonderful journey in itself. She is one of these amazing women who seems to breeze through life. Everything she touches just works so I hope that rubs off when we get to the cycle. I have certainly found a friend in her no matter what lies ahead. She has made an offer we cannot put into words and for that we will be eternally grateful.

Late last year we had all the psychological assessments, meeting with the lawyers, counselling and health checks and finally in November the paperwork was submitted to Canberra Fertility Clinic. Their rules are that you must have a 3 month cooling off period and with Christmas and the NY that seemed to work well. So in Feb we were all set for the Ethics Committee to asses our eligibility and they postponed!! We were mortified! After waiting 4 months for this to be assessed they moved the date about an hour before they were meant to start the meeting. Grrrrrrr...

After we began breathing again the date came up fairly fast. On the 15th March the committee met and decided our fate. I would love to say that we know the outcome but WE DON'T and it's beginning to kill me! The clinic will be sent the paperwork and or any additional questions for our Dr, but it all has to be in a legal format and of course that takes a few days. Just a phone call would be nice but that's not the process... so we wait again.. biting nails and crossing everything we have.

To be honest we have talked about what we would do if they come back with a no, but that is just too hard to imagine. After all we have been through surely they cannot deny us this chance.

Oh and somewhere in all this the 9 embies were sent to Canberra and we got a call to say they had arrived safely. Phew! At least they are safe and sound!