Well it seems our little friend has settled in quite well and we have now made it over the 6 week mark!!! Wooooo Hoooooo!! To be honest it feels like an eternity has passed with all the worrying we have done. The hormone levels, the Google insults (our own fault of course) and the way too much knowledge we have from life in the baby loss world. Of course we have been secretly screaming inside...this is what we had dreamt of, longed for and it's finally happening! But we have certainly been holding our breath these last few weeks.
It's really hard to explain unless you have lost, but it's almost impossible to get emotional to fast because things can go wrong. It's a defence mechanism I wish I didn't have or need. We knew very early we were pregnant with Sophie and although we thought we were in the clear it went completely wrong. We also know things are very different this time, V has the perfect bits (unlike me) and there is absolutely no reason why this should not work. But it's still so very hard after heartache.
But as the days tick on we are slowly being released from the grip of uncertainty. I can actually feel a cloud lifting, cliché as that might sound it's real. I am beginning to allow myself to make this real and enjoy the moment.
We have a scan next week (on the 18th) which is really exciting. After just hearing about blood results we will see a real thing on a screen... wow... wow.
Keep happy little one.. you are amazing us already! We can't wait to see you next week.
I hope all goes well for you. Good luck.
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