Tuesday 9th Feb – Another blood test. At 2.30pm I am called to say continue with the same doses and come back on Friday for bloods and an ultrasound. Friday is a crap day because Adrian can’t be with me.. and that’s crap. I need him around when these things are happening for our future. This is the part where they decide to cancel or not. If the follicles are not growing fast enough they pull out. GROW YOU BEASTIES, GROW! I guess not changing the medication levels is a good sign but I am so nervous about it all. It just has to work. I am depending on it!
Some days I am prepared for failure after last time then other moments I am lost. Like right now. I could just cry for any reason. Here I sit at my work desk for all to see… public slaying of the freaked out chick out the front. I am sure everyone notices. I feel like they all do but maybe it’s all the hormones. I just feel shitty and sad and want to crawl into a hole. I want to go home and wish the next few days away without too much anxiety.